Devising a plan that could only have been a result of a week long psychedelic binge, www.NewZealandGirls.co.nz owners crawled their way back into our dimension and brought some truly bizarre notions with them. Intent on mobilising their 'master-plan', NZG hastily employed the services of a gremlin and embarked on their quest to oust all of their competitors. Forgetting that most laws are generally devised upon the principles of logic and reason, NZG tried to use legal force to assassinate other online escort agencies. The drama eventually siphoned away as competing companies employed their critical faculties and realised the futility of NZG's pursuit. Much to the dismay of NZG, their only achievement in the whole saga was to prove their own ignorance.

“100 000 sperm and you were the fastest?”

– Jim Hightower

The escort industry in New Zealand has grown rapidly into a market worth millions of Dollars. As the social media platforms have evolved, private escorts have gained easier access to the industry without the mediation and cost of an escort agency. The dangers, as well as the difficulties, of exposing oneself as an escort on the open Web, opened a niche in the industry for the introduction of online agencies. Online escort agencies began multiplying like poor Catholics and the industry quickly gained an unstoppable online momentum. With the multitude of online agencies, many escorts register with more than one to increase the chance of business. Most online escort agencies merely provide the platform for the escorts, and generate income via advertising traffic. So any escort registering with an online agency, unless otherwise stated in the contract, is essentially a free agent. It stands to reason then, that any escort registered on multiple sites is only expanding their advertising space, as any businessman would. Further, it seems apparent, through the eyes of common sense at least, that any material uploaded to any site by an escort, is the intellectual property of said escort – provided that it has not been taken from another source. Therefore, surely online escort sites cannot claim copyright over an image supplied by the escort or pursue copyright infringements over any material provided by the escort, including descriptions themselves and their services.

Unfortunately for us (or them) such common sense is not a blessing (or curse) for many. This has not precluded such individuals from success, however the absence of reason, or perhaps the dominance of ignorance, stands erect for all to see. Throwing peanuts from the gallery, it is only fair, in light of one's public responsibility, to give mention and subsequent applause to NZG. As one of the largest online escort agencies, NZG claim to offer the largest selection of escort profiles in New Zealand. Yet there have been many rumours and outright accusations against the conduct of this company. Now let's not have you wandering about the intent of this article, company defamation is a practice best left to ex-employees with sawed-off shotguns and a decade of resentment toward Mary from accounting. Rather what will be explained here is a simple observation of what could be considered, in no less words, as complete idiocy.

The most delicious details always deserve first mention, not for their accuracy, but rather to stage the gallows. It has been reported that NZG has employed rather dubious business practices during their ascent. As an online agency, their function is exclusively as a mediator between clients and escorts. As with all businesses, NZG required users to agree to their 'terms and conditions', which seems normal practice. A guilt we all share, reading user agreements is not a priority when installing or registering for pretty much anything. Unfortunately for NZG, changing the terms and conditions of their contracts with escorts using their site after claiming copyright infringement, is a sleazy act that is easily outed. Yet despite the aforementioned, and admittedly obvious considerations, NZG proceeded to launch class action suits against other online escort agencies whom the escorts were also registered with. To add muck to the scum, reports of personal intimidation are surfacing. Many escorts have reported that NZG has contacted them directly, threatening to lower their profile listing if they did not remove their profiles from other sites, some escorts have even claimed that they have been threatened with physical violence if they did not comply.

It would seem that NZG could not see the trees for the forest, or is that the forest for the trees? Perhaps the wood for the trees? Either which way they might misuse or misunderstand the English language, NZG embarked on a hilarious PR stunt that back-fired spectacularly. In an attempt to dominate the market, NZG thought it wise to try and bully their competitors with legal force. Naturally the New Zealand authorities thought it best not to intervene, most likely because they probably form a large part of the escort industry’s patronage. What unfolded was an exemplary display of sheer stupidity. In an attempt to remain anonymous, NZG employed the services of a rather dubious and porky attorney. Much like certain countries fighting proxy-wars around the world, NZG had a difficult time hiding their slimy hands pulling the strings. In a bizarre sequence of events, NZG sent various lawyers letters, threatening emails and requests for compliance. Much to the bewilderment of the industry, NZG continued to press the matter despite the obvious futility. Some sites who were subject to the barrage of NZG's colonial attempts sought to resolve the issue amicably, going as far as removing the requested materials. However NZG were not satisfied, like true capitalists, they continued their rampage of greed. Taking advantage of the notable lack of interest from New Zealand authorities, NZG attempted to take some online sites to court over the 'copyright infringements'. Essentially NZG began a campaign of forceful dominance, looking to oust any and all competition. History suggests that most successful industrialists have employed similar tactics in the past and the results often manifested in billion Dollar corporations.

So where did NZG go wrong?

Well the glaringly obvious mistake NZG made was concocting a plan that even the bygone Bush dynasty might find implausible. Perhaps living a delusion, NZG thought they would succeed in this venture and pursued the matter viciously. It did not take long for the rest of the industry to reach their saturation point. Meddlesome idiocy only proves detrimental to any involved and competing online sites fast grew tired of dodging NZG's blind lumbering. Like a mythical one-eyed beast, NZG formed a fantasy role-playing scenario in which they foresaw only their victory. Anyone familiar with story telling in general, knows that every villain has a weakness that can be exploited. Fortunately for the New Zealand escort industry, NZG's weakness was, and is, their continued lack of common sense. At first many of the competing sites were confused at the apparent ludicrous behaviour of NZG, but curious humour hastily hatched into exhaustion. Realising that NZG were pursuing a mute point, most companies abandoned their attempts to come to a resolution with NZG. Subsequently, NZG took this as a sign of triumph and intensified their attack and delved deeper into the swamp. By the time NZG had managed to collaborate their case and present it to a court, the futility was blatant. A potholed case held together by the narcissism of a putrid little man, the courts did not hesitate in rejecting the claim.

This strange manoeuvre by NZG highlights not only their cretin heritage, but also their malicious and vindictive business practices. The former we might forgive on account of their innocence in the matter, but NZG's display of clear intent to cripple their competitors via nefarious action, need not even be contended in Kangaroo court. With such greed lining the heart of NZG's business, one can only wonder what measures of integrity the company upholds when dealing with their clients. NZG might have easily explained the accusations away as a slanderous campaign by their competition, but rather the company figured themselves as an unmatchable power. Throwing a tantrum like a toddler, NZG exposed themselves as the servants of Mammon. One can just imagine the scene that would've unfolded in the underworld when NZG spawned out of a scaly cocoon and sauntered up toward earth, with their lawyer in tow waddling as fast as his little cloven hoofs allow.


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