Mistress Dominae, Escort in Christchurch

Mistress Dominae

Christchurch

Hollie_X, Escort in Auckland

Hollie_X

Auckland


Medical science has shown us that the neurons, chemicals and pathways that send messages of pain and pleasure to our brains, are all connected. This means that your brain can interpret pleasure as pain and vice versa. BDSM is about submersing yourself in your partners' control and allowing them to guide your pleasure. BDSM can take on many forms, and does not only include the stereotypical dominatrix whipping a pale-faced pudgy politician. Activities such as feather play, elemental sensation (using ice or fire), simple control games and many other indulgences are all part of the BDSM fetish. Remember, the goal of BDSM is not to inflict merciless pain upon another, but rather allow them to expand their understanding of their own body and strengthen the trust between you.

We meet at last… Mr…

When you decide that you want to investigate the realm of BDSM, it is wise to first witness a live show. Although many pornography films claim to represent reality, the truth is they are actors paid to engage in BDSM sexual acts. Rather find out about local BDSM clubs or parties, and go along to see how the whole process unfolds. Anyone involved in BDSM understands the need for utmost respect and comfort, the aim of the game is to reach an orgasmic state of singularity. When looking for BDSM partners, or developing a BDSM relationship with your partner, make sure you understand your own body and desires. Your partner cannot attend to the unknown, and more importantly, you do not want to engage in anything you will be uncomfortable with. Everyone talks about the famed 'safe-word' but few actually understand the value. The safe-word is a word that is used by anyone engaging in BDSM to indicate the desire to discontinue the intercourse. Although this may seem obvious, its' value cannot be overstated. The safe-word does not necessarily indicate that your partner is unhappy or uncomfortable, your safe-word is their to provide an intimate middle-ground between partners. The safe-word does not just indicate the end of play, but also the achievement of fulfilment. You and your partner must agree on a safe-word to ensure that you do not over-step any bounds, but more importantly so you can establish a sense of complete trust. If your partner ever uses the safe-word, you must stop immediately.

Torturous:

Depending on what kind of play you like, there will be an array of props and aids you can use. From leather corsets to simple fluffy handcuffs, your BDSM fantasy is easily achievable. Be wise in your choices though, think rationally about your intended play and don't try and force a game or action. Despite the image of control and pain, BDSM is supposed to be smooth and exceptionally intimate. Anything other than safe, intimate and respectful BDSM is unacceptable and exploitative. When involving yourself in the BDSM culture, be aware of people who may look to take advantage or exploit you. The intensity of the arousal from BDSM will be unmatched, the convergence of pain and pleasure can expand your mind. Often your sexual experience will last longer than usual, as the build up is just as important as your climax.

When beginning you exploration of BDSM, start slowly and simply. Make sure you and your partner understand the fundamental principles of BDSM, ideally you should talk openly about your desires and expectations from BDSM. If you do not feel comfortable enough to talk openly about the topic, try handcuffing or bonding your partner. Tease their body and gently introduce the desired BDSM play. Similarly, If you want to be dominated and don't know how to instigate, try handcuffing yourself to the bed and invite your partner to join in the play. It is often difficult to know what you like and where your boundaries are before you comprehensively explore your tastes. Don't rush into any play that you are unsure of, the goal is to achieve pleasure, not pain. Light spanking and whipping provide a good start to torture style BDSM, but is not the only form of play. Different people will be aroused by varying forms of play, you might find that your play need only extend to simple bondage. Conversely, if you feel that you desire more intense forms of play, ensure you openly discuss the boundaries with your partner. There are multiple forms of play that are intense, begin slowly. Role-playing can also be incorporated with your BDSM play, many people have particular BDSM desires. All the forms of play are aimed at building the relationship with your partner and not abuse.

The are cases in which you might find yourself desiring a BDSM encounter with a stranger, or a group of strangers. In these cases, always ensure everyone is aware of what is acceptable and where the boundaries lie. You can never know how far someone else will go to boost their pleasure and you do not want to be on the receiving end of a nasty play. If you join a group, make sure all participants have given you and everyone else consent. Fantasies of rape should not be indulged, not necessarily because of morality, but rather because the fantasy can quickly snowball in reality. Make sure you check yourself and your desires, ask yourself whether the play is within the realm of desire and pleasure. Also ensure you are conscious of any possible medical implications, if using exceptionally large toys, or blood inducing play, make sure you don't physically hurt the other person beyond what is desired or medically safe.

That's the spot!

As you gain experience in BDSM play, you will start understanding where your point of pleasure and pain converge. Try and maintain that level, once the spectrum slides to either side, the play begins to lose its' efficacy. If you find that intense pain excites you, make sure you keep to play that is controlled and safe. While the goal of most sexual interaction is climax, BDSM play often results in orgasmic pleasure well before climax. Once you know what you enjoy, and are comfortable with the play, you can begin really delving into the possibilities. With the wide array of toys and props, your desired pain and pleasure can be achieved in varying ways. If you enjoy the use of whips and paddles, try using feathers to tease your body beforehand. The desire for the intense pain will build monumentally, as the feathers tickle your skin, your body will reach a critical mass of frustration. When that first lash lands, the explosion of relief will be palpable. This is only one example of possible adjustments to your preferred style of play, explore as many types of play as possible. Sometimes minor adjustments to your play can bring divine pleasure.

“Well... That was awkward”

Although almost any sexual encounter can be a little awkward the next morning, BDSM play can make you and your partner feel a touch weird the next morning, especially if the night before was extraordinarily intense. Ideally there should be no unease between partners, but the reality is normally less than ideal. Make sure you don't let the unease hang between the two of you, talk openly about the experience. Approach your partner calmly and lovingly, ask where the unease stems from and discuss your perspective. Often all it takes is a quick chat to affirm that you are both on the same page. If you happen to extend a one-night stand into a longer endeavour, let the other person know what you are thinking, and be honest. Rather learn of the incompatibilities in your desire before engaging in further play. Even if your first encounter is softer than you are usually accustomed to, make sure you discuss future play. Even the use of a safe-word does not protect you from the immediate discomfort of undesirable play. To ensure you reach the highest level of pleasure, always abide by simple rules of safety and honesty. If you maintain an honest and open relationship with your partner, your play will induce earth-shattering euphoria.


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